Love: Undefinable, Crucial, and Worth Celebrating

 By: Anna Splettstoesser   

Love—we hear many conflicting narratives about it, in the media and from one another; but now that Valentine’s Day is almost upon us once again – What does ‘love’ widely mean? 💌❤️ 

Truthfully, there is no one simple all-encompassing definition that fully reflects what love means in its entirety, while including all experiences. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary (2024), love encompasses many concepts including love of biological or chosen family, coupled relationships (Sexual, romantic, asexual, or aromantic), affection for others/friends, or attachment and devotion toward meaningful objects or causes. Some define ‘love’ as a term to primarily describe romantic relationships whereas others recognize a broader definition of ‘love’ to reflect the care present in the various relationships (on various levels) that they have with others.   

 The variety of ways individuals experience love in their relationships with others effectively proves, for example that coupled relationships are just one relationship type to give space to, when celebrating love and Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day is not exclusive to couples because there are too many ways of understanding the definition of love. Even researchers cannot seem to agree as they lack an all-encompassing definition of love, but they generally agree on five main concepts related to love. This includes familial love, partnered love, friendship, love for strangers, and self-love (Rinne et al, 2024; Burton, 2024; Aloian, 2022).           

Familial Love 🫂

When you initially think about ‘love’, familial love was likely not the first concept that popped into your head. At the same time, many of us know how the love given by parents, siblings, extended family, and general family members dramatically affect our lives positively in deeply influential ways.   

The presence of familial love is incredibly influential in our lives because our relationships with our family members are often the first relationships, we use to define our attachment to every other relationship we have. Whether biological or chosen, a family has the capacity to provide a safe and comfortable landing and safety net for individuals as they navigate life.   

Often people overlook love that comes from parents, siblings, and family members, especially on Valentine’s Day. It is important to remember that the love we get from any type of family member is not only important to our development but also to our overall mental and physical health (BetterHelp, 2025). Within the familial theme of love, different experts highlight and promote the importance of different types of love. For Rinne et al (2024) and Burton (2024), familial love is most important within parent-child relationships and specifically from parent to child. Aloian (2022), contends with their peers, to suggest familial love is most important within every member of the family (whether biological or chosen).   

Most researchers agree that familial love is an important concept to the love that individuals have the capacity to experience. The aspect that folks seem to not necessarily agree on is what relationships we experience love in. But, as we see through research, everyone has different lived experiences to what love means for them and in their relationships. In the end, what matters most is recognizing what familial relationships you lean on most for love and support- whether that is parent-child or between various family members and celebrate it!   

Partnered Love 💗

More often than not, partnered love is the most prioritized concept of love celebrated on Valentine’s Day. In contrast to familial love, most individuals overestimate the importance of partnered love; viewing it as a pinnacle and all-important lifetime achievement.  

Partnered love is indeed an important concept of love that can foster relationship success in not only the coupled relationship, but also other relationships the individuals may have. But it is equally important to celebrate the relationship types and concepts of love, which also have a deeply positive influence on an individual’s life, that are typically relegated as less important because of a sole focus on the love found in coupled relationships. Partners often provide love, care, and understanding, not widely found to the same degree in other relationship types, but it is not always the only concept of love we need most (Aloian, 2022).  

Partnered love also looks different for many folks with varying lived experiences and relationships to the definition of love. Some individuals characterize and seek partnered love derived from sexual or romantic parameters and some do not. Rinne et al (2024), partnered love is most akin to modern constructs of romantic, sexual, and passionate love. Whereas Aloian (2022) reports partnered love as either passion-led or companion-led which includes romantic, sexual, nonromantic, and aromantic relationship types.   

The moral of the story, Valentine’s Day is not just for individuals celebrating coupled relationships because that logic rejects the importance of other deeply influential concepts of love; equally partner love looks different for different individuals depending on their relationships to sexuality and romance and should be equally recognized and celebrated!  

Friendship Love 💌

This was likely the second form of love that individuals think about and prioritize on Valentine’s Day and with good reason. The love we get from friendships affects undergraduate students as it is often in university when individuals initially start leaning on their friendships and differentiate themselves from their families of origin more and more, as they emerge into early adulthood.  

For many of us, our friendships make the difference in the tough moments of life as they help us experience life in much more color and light. However, it is more than that; friendships are extremely pivotal in preventing endemic levels of loneliness and isolation in our lives (Aloian, 2022; Merriam-Webster, 2025). In moments when individuals routinely need others as positive and supportive lights in their lives, the love, they get from their friendships often fills the gap.  

Rinne et al (2024), defines friendship and love as the hallmark of goodwill we extend to others and receive in return because of the mutual-supportive relationship. As for Aloian (2022), friendship brings platonic love to our lives because of the strong, mutual connections with our closest friends.  

The reason for or the particular source of love we get from our friendships with others are often unique to everyone’s lived experience, but the consensus and their positive effects prove the importance of celebrating friendship and love in all capacities.   

Love of Strangers 💞

I am willing to bet that most individuals do not consider the love of strangers when reflecting on love as an overall concept, but doing so often rejects new and up-and-coming sources of love  

Although some folks are understandably wary of strangers, others have considerable amounts of love for the strangers in their lives. Being open to loving strangers often not only expands the levels of love individuals enjoy but also one’s understanding of the world and their relationships in general (Kasriel, 2022). One impact of loving strangers can mean finding curiosity for the experiences and actions of others and accepting the light they can often bring to our lives. I implore individuals to balance the varying ranges of people they interact with as they reflect on the pivotal experiences and learnings they incorporate into their lives as a result. Looking at the research, Rinne et al (2024), include strangers as an important source of love that individuals receive, and Burton (2024) goes a step further to label it universal love and include nature and God in the concept of love. For Aloian (2022), we give love to strangers when we become aware we (ourselves and strangers) are one, equal, and part of something much bigger than us and more than deserving of love.   

Prioritizing the love often derived from relationships with strangers creates the capacity for individuals to then develop new understandings of the world around them and accept new love and support in their lives. Although researchers have different explanations for where and how love for strangers can be actualized, they generally agree on the benefits and importance of loving strangers to individuals, their view of the world, and their relationship with love.   

Self-love 🥰

Lastly, and arguably the most important, is the self-love we extend to and receive from ourselves. It is in everything from the messages we tell ourselves to the lessons we derive from lived experiences. Loving ourselves or working to achieve some capacity to do so means fostering an environment where individuals can take full advantage of the opportunities their lives bring while finding happiness in the process or as a result.   

Ironically, it is a normal experience for individuals to struggle with loving themselves; equally, the benefits of self-love should not be overlooked, for its capacity to enhance the love experienced and the support individuals receive. In whatever form showing care for ourselves through our thoughts and actions fosters the healthy and thriving relationships we crave naturally as humans (Aloian, 2022; Burton, 2024).  

For Burton (2024), it is important to differentiate healthy from unhealthy self-love and understand the difference in the power we have over our own actions, happiness, and the health of our relationships. Then Aloian (2022), frames self-love as “the intersection of grace for the self as well as accountability and ownership with the self”.   

Put plainly, the relationship individuals have with themselves and the love they extend has a huge impact on their capacity to take advantage of the opportunities they get and the happiness they can enjoy. The research empowers individuals to acknowledge the power they have to positively affect their own lives through loving themselves.  

So, this year, students are encouraged to celebrate their self-love in whatever form it takes for its capacity to lead to happiness and success in life.   

Love is a multifaceted concept that transcends simple definitions and encompasses a wide range of relationships and lived experiences. From familial bonds and partnered connections to friendships, love for strangers, and self-love, each type of love plays a crucial role in our happiness and the overall experience of our lives. Recognizing and valuing these diverse forms of love can enhance our mental and physical well-being, enrich our relationships, and foster a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us.  

As we approach Valentine’s Day, it’s an important reminder to recognize and celebrate all definitions and sources of love and how it manifests itself in our lives, beyond just romantic relationships. Whatever love you honor or celebrate this Valentine’s Day remember you are valid, for the meaning of love is vast and accepting.  

Ways to Celebrate

Here are some things you can do to celebrate love in all its forms this Valentine’s Day:  

References 

Aloian, A. (2022, September 29). The eight different types of love, explained by experts. Women’s Health. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a40655063/types-of-love/  

BetterHelp. (2024, November 20). 10 reasons familial love can be important. BetterHelp. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/why-familial-love-is-important/  

Aloian, A. (2022, September 29). The eight different types of love, explained by experts. Women’s Health. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a40655063/types-of-love/  

Burton, N. (2024, July 19). These are the 7 types of Love. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-of-love?msockid=22c7899e78526804170a9b0479f869a4     

Kasriel, E. (2022, February 24). The surprising benefits of talking to strangers. BBC News. https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200914-the-surprising-benefits-of-talking-to-strangers  

Merriam-Webster. (2025). Citation. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved February 26, 2025, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/love  

Rinne, P. et al. (2024, August 26). Six types of loves differentially recruit reward and social cognition brain areas, Cerebral Cortex, Volume 34, Issue 8, https://doi.org/10.1093/cercor/bhae331   

Published: Thursday, February 13, 2025

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